This video recording is about your friends. I believe some so-called friends should never be allowed in your circle. And yes, it doesn’t matter how long you have known them.
Now, I am not saying you should not have friends. The reality is you will never be able to make it on your own. You need a team. You need others to help you. But if they are tearing down what you build, it’s time to zap them.
In this video, I reveal an entire segment on how to inventory your friends, which one to keep and how to tactfully get rid of the ones that no longer click with you. Click on this link to watch the video.
[flv width=”585″ height=”370″]http://blip.tv/file/get/Glemo2-YourFriends895.flv[/flv]
Click on the Play button to start watching.
P.S. I can’t wait to read your comment about this video. And yes, I will read it all. Go ahead. Scroll down to type a comment. Join the conversation!
You are right about surrounding yourself with those who are supportive and loving… I have found that when I needed to detach myself from a friend, I just start taking more time between our visits or times together… saying that I am working (which is true) or have an appointment at that time (which is also true) or I let her call go to my answering service and call back when it is convenient for me.
This way, the detachment is graceful and will not hurt her feelings. When she talks about me, she just says how hard I am working or how busy I am…
I do make an effort to spend some time with her because if she and others are needy, then i need to be there for them at least a bit of my time…. it is my way of giving back… then I limit my time by sandwiching it between appointments so that we meet in a neutral space, (not my space, as then it is hard to get them to leave) and then I feel that I am not neglecting… and I now find that that one hour coffee time, is a nice break for me, and I find also that I am enjoying them more….
I know my listening to their ‘stuff” is important to them and I know what my limit is.. after an hour, I am on my way, thanking God for my patience, my listening skills and my friend is also grateful…. It is good for both of us and I know that we will still be ‘there’ for each other but that we do not need to spend unlimited hours going over the same line of issues… I can be fresh and helpful without taking on any negative energy… more than an hour, and I could not do this….
works really well for me…. and solves both issues…. not wanting to hurt her feelings as she is a good person going through a (very long) bad time and this way I do not abandon her and she will come out of it, and we will then be able to spend more time…
it is an investment in my friendship stocks…. so not throwing the baby out with the bath water, so to speak
but, good advice you give…. for all those energy vampires that we cannot do this with…. those we need to run fast from,,, in the opposite direction.
One of them, used to drop in on me whenever she drove by (frequently)… and I work from home… I did not consider her a friend as she is the most negative person I have met… but I felt sorry for her and spent each round of golf hearing how rotten life was, it was her clubs, the weather, the greenskeeper, and on and on…
finally I put a note on my door, “Please do Not disturb without an appointment.” she stopped coming and when I did not return her calls, she stopped calling.
and I did tell her how negative she was but she just laughed….
Wow! That’s an awesome way to handle negative friends. Thanks for sharing your strategy with us.
As you know, people are like time vampires. They will suck you dry if you allow them. We have to train them on how important time is for us. Like my wealthy friend Nido always says, “I can buy more of everything. But I can’t buy more time.”
That’s precious advice!
Thanks for sharing your comments about the friends we need to choose. I have adhered to this principle a long time ago and it proved to be quite beneficial to me. However, I hope that you will address the issue of being a good friend. Many people are blinded about their own ways which make them short of being a good friend.
Thanks for participating in the conversation!
Fortunately there more good friends out there than one might imagine. All of us have quality friends who respect our time, emotions, and feelings.
And it seems as though the more we become the kind of person others want to be around, the more we attract those kinds of friends in our lives. Trust me, good friends are everywhere. Look and you shall see them.
I totally agree with everything that you are saying I have associates, people I just speak to (say Hi) and keep it moving, if it’s not about business I really don’t have to much to say. I am trying to create the type of friends that can be of help not draining but can show me how to make good investments, good business moves, the best way to help someone else; in other words how to bring out the best in me so that I may bring out the best in someone else. Misery have no place in my life, it’s not my last name nor am I dating or looking to marry anyone associate with MISERY. THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEO!!
Way to go my friend! Keep pressing on!
It amazes me how much we get comfortable with lifestyles, whether it’s productive or not.Your video was very enlightening. Not only for me but for the others I shared it with that needed to see it today.
Can’t watch the video.It keeps freezing.Can be made possible to download so that it could be watched from it’s downloaded version.
The video doesn’t play very well on my site, there are break ups, it plays two words then a break, another two words then another break. May i kindly request that you send me something that i can be able to read on the same topic,it is interesting.
May i request that you send me something that i can be able to read, the video doesn’t play very well on my site there are break ups, 2 words then a break and so on.
Thank you for the information on deciding on whom your friends are going to be. I have had friends for years that were detrimental to my life but I just couldn’t separate and move on. I finally learnt that in order to continue to grow it was as necessary as eating. It is necessary to survive! I made the necessary changes that I wanted to make, like attending workshop, furthered my education and then pretty soon the changes I made in my life left me with nothing in common with my existing friends. We had nothing in common! So It was natural to move on. This helped to put me in charge of my life. I created my own purpoae and direction instead of just settling for what my friends believed in. Thank You for confirming that this is the right thing to do. I believe that we are responsible for our own destiny and Happiness.
Thank You for your insights into growing better every day!
You are a wise man. Glad you decided to inventory your friends and move on.
Great advice Rene, people need to be reminded of the toxic influences in their lives. people who will rob you of life’s valuable seconds and poison your positive outlook under the guise of ‘friendship’ like you say not all friend come under this catogorie, but the 80 /20 rule is a good guide to follow. I wish you supreme success and if you ever make it to Ireland (Galway) get in touch I’d love to meet you. regards John Regan
Hum’s just too great.i do hope more of this.thank you so much
Rene,this the best video you’ve ever produced.I always value what ever you do, everything you said is right,because I ‘m in that kind of environment trust me I will
get my self out,but it’s not gonna be overnight.I working on it.Thank you Rene ,job well done!!
All I can say is Well Done! This topic “Get Rid Of Some Friends Now
It’s my pleasure Latrise!
Thank you Godfrey!
What a selfless and most generous act.
This was solid advise that you could have charged for, and yet you
freely gave it.
I respect and appreciate your act of kindness.
I did the inventory, and you are so right….I really need to drop several people that
I have for years allowed myself to be around. And the suggestion that you gave as to how to tell them goodbye was excellent.
Yes, but remember to be nice. And also, never, ever say anything negative about the friends you part company with.
Proud of you Denise.
thanks sir for all mail and video yo have being sending to me god blss sir pls help me i, told you that i am footballer i, club to play over ther help me come over ther that can find a club my phone number is +2348064056113 thanks sir
I agree. I started zapping the negative friends about a year ago, but I still have not being able to get my home based greeting card business off the ground. Thanks for your inspiring message. I want give up!
Be very diplomatic about it! You don’t want to insult people. I love the Colleen handles it. You might want to read her comment above. It’s the first one.
Thanks for the video. What you say is so true–you become like those with whom you associate. Negative energy begets more negative energy. It’s impossible to remain positive and focused on your goals while you continue to associate with whiners and complainers. At the end of the day, you just go home exhausted from fighting against all that negativity.
Keep up the good work!
Myrtle Beach, SC, USA
Amen my friend! And thanks for joining the conversation.
Awesome… great logical and practical advice Rene!
Sometimes in life we just need to take a step back and hear the heartfelt basics. It is certainlty true that we can become a product of our environment IF we permit it. We can become like our friends, become what others say we are, and in fact begin a whirlwind of destruction on our dreams and goals. I believe that part of our very destiny lies in the core group of people we begin to associate with. Let’s devote our time and energy to surrounding ourselves with people who will build us up, keep us accountable and move us toward a successful path, at the same time, investing and encouraging them. Winners always win, but “low-energy” friends never raise the bar higher than they can leap.
Thanks for the self evaluation. I look forward to seeing more team building techniques.
Laugh a lot and Smile often,
You are right about that. Let’s devote our time and energy to surround ourselves with people who can uplift, encourage, and motivate us to go for what we want.
thanks a lot rene the video is great and so inspiring,i tell you you change the lives of many after reading your newsletter i always print them and give them out to my friends and alot has happened to them keep up rene.looking forward to attending your seminar.
RENE, A BODACIOUS DAY -2-U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAS NOT ABLE 2- WATCH THE VIDEO HOPELY I WILL BE ABLE 2- WATCH FUTURE ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE A QUESTION I RECENTLY JOINED TOASTMASTERS, HOW LONG DO YOU RECOMEND BEING A MEMBER I AM DOING VERY WELL I HAVE RECIEVED 6 AWARDS FOR SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thoroughly enjoyed that article,because I had to get rid of a couple of people!Some people take and take from relationships and when you need them they’re never around!
I have been struggling with a ‘friend’ for over 30 years. We’ve had good times but the drama and negativity aspect is getting worse. I always let the snide comments and passive aggressiveness slide. I spoke up once, and it turned into a big drama. I keep my mouth shut to keep the peace. This person makes me feel bad about myself because they are always questioning what I do, what I think. I don’t like the gossip and holier than thou attitude. I am a good person, I have an amazing husband and family. We appreciate our
many blessings. This person always finds a way to drag me down, I suppose so that they can feel better about themselves.
After watching this video yesterday, I was determined to take a stand. After receiving a slap via facebook this morning from this person, I wrote back with a one liner and called her out on the negativity, then she turned it all around that she was always there for me, and it was me that never wanted to visit her or go places. I swear I think she invites me knowing that I will decline. That is not how I want to spend my time. Perhaps I should have been more honest about my misgivings before now. I have felt bullied, so I dodge the bullets to keep the peace. No more…this is goodbye…I hope, LOL! Thank you for your wise words. Kathleen
Definitely the 20% that takes up 80% of my time!!!!!