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I want to talk to you about Nancy. Nancy is the kind of person you don’t want around you. I’m sure all of you listening or reading this can say you have a Nancy, maybe even more than one, around you right now.
She may be in your family. She may be at your workplace. She may even be at church. Wherever she is stay away from her.
But first, I have some good news to share with you. The last few weeks have been really busy. I had a chance to keynote some very important conferences. I was in L.A. keynoting a conference for Mark Victor Hansen.
You probably know Mark Victor Hansen by Chicken Soup for the Soul. Maybe you have a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul on your bed or around your office or in your room that you’ve read or intend to read.
The conference, the Mega Speaking Empire, was for speakers and aspiring speakers. I had a chance to share the platform not only with Mark Victor Hansen but with Brian Tracy.
Now understand when I came to this country I was 21 years old. First I was a boat carpenter in Miami. Then I was a janitorial boy in 163rd Mall picking up leftover food on the floor and mopping the floor.
I didn’t speak any English whatsoever. In my late 20’s I discovered some of Brian Tracy’s materials, tapes, and books. I started reading them. To me, Brian Tracy was way up there and rightfully so.
When you are a young immigrant, don’t speak the language, have zero connections and resources you can only look at a person like Brian Tracy in respect, awe, and amazement.
I never thought In my wildest dreams that one day I’d be able to share the platform with him. After my presentation Brian came to me. He gave me this huge bear hug and he whispered I’m just so proud of you.
There were so many people at the conference who wanted my time. Some wanted just five minutes to talk to me over coffee. Some wanted to meet for lunch, breakfast, or dinner.
And some wanted to discuss business. One man who’s starting a very successful non profit organization wanted me to be on his Board. There was even a highly successful doctor who suggested that I run for senator in Georgia. Wow! I said I’d have to think about that.
Staying for the entire conference made me exhausted. I flew back to Atlanta. I keynoted another conference two days later in Atlanta. Then I went to Palm Springs, California.
That trip was significant to me because I took my mother with me. Mama had never been to California and she always said to me that she would love to visit California one day. I bought a ticket and flew her with me.
The lady was so striking! She dressed so impeccable. You should have seen her. Mama had a ball. She walked around the hotel enjoying all of the great things in the hotel and buying stuff.
She sat in the audience during my presentation for 1500 high powered mortgage brokers. I recognized her.
She stood up and they gave her a huge standing ovation. Mama was crying. Well, she always cries when she sees me speak because she remembers how tough life was for us in Haiti.
As you can see in the picture below, that’s me on the left and that’s my mother on the right. As if you have not figured that out already. You see the line to the right going all around? You can’t see the end of the line because the camera cut part of the crowd.
That’s how many people that were waiting in line for me to autograph my books to them. Some bought five, six, seven, ten books. They bought CD’s, DVD’s. I just read my book on CD. It’s a six CD set word for word. They bought a lot of them. They were buying for their friends and family as Christmas gifts. Go figure!
My mother was also autographing books! Many people were saying, “hey Mama, I want you to autograph my bookâ€. Now, my mother never thought in her wildest imagination that one day she’d be in California among 1500 successful people taking pictures and autographing books.
Well, it’s not her book but it’s the same thing. My book is my mother’s book. That was really great.
Alright, now let me tell you about Nancy.
A few weeks ago I went to a funeral for a family member in Connecticut. There was a lot of people from my village. Some came from Montréal, Canada. Some came from Miami.
Others came from Boston and other States. I was mingling with the people. This young lady came and she introduced herself. She said my name is Nancy. Are you Rene Godefroy? I said yes.
She said I wanted to meet you so bad. I want to tell you that I’m just so proud of you because I heard you on a radio show in Miami with a guy called Ed Lozama.
Ed Lozama is a very successful and popular radio talk show host in South Florida. So, Nancy went on to tell me that after hearing the show she was disappointed. She said that I was putting our village down. And she said that the stories I was telling are not true.
Nancy said, “I’m not familiar with all the diseases and poverty and breadfruit and all that that you’re sayingâ€.
At that point into the conversation, I was trying to keep my composure. I didn’t want lose my cool. However, she was trying to burst my bubble. She was trying to rain on my parade.
There I was just shaking my head. I really didn’t know how to sanely confront the issue at hand.
Fortunately some of the people from my village were there. They stood up for me. They put Nancy in her place.
Now check this out.
Nancy told me, “Oh by the way, I did call Ed Lozama after the show to tell him that you were lying. The stories you are telling are not the truth.
I’m thinking to myself wow. Somebody would go to that extent to rain on my parade. I just couldn’t believe it.
But it didn’t take me long before I really why Nancy tried to rain on my parade. It’s because she doesn’t have a parade of her own. That’s always why others rain on our parade. Did you ever think about it this way?
You see, busy people don’t have time for such pettiness.
There are a lot of people out there who are up to no good. They have no plans, dreams, goals or ambitions.
Well, come to think of it, their goals and ambitions are to make sure you don’t get yours. And so, my friend, I’m asking you, I’m begging you to stay away from the Nancy’s of the world.
They will stand on your path. I’m talking about the path to success.
Now, me being Mr. Diplomat and Mr. Nice I kind of smiled very politely and I walked away. Later I gave Nancy a copy of my book. Her attitude changed on the spot. Now, she wants to take photos with me. She wants my number.
You know, the reason I gave her my book was because I wanted her to read the book so that she can have a more intelligent conversation with me next time. I wanted her to really know the truth and understand how tough I had it as a youngster.
You see, Nancy left the village when she was only about six years old and has never gone back. As you can imagine, Nancy didn’t know me. She has no idea what I had been through.
And yet, she had the audacity to call Ed Lozama and say that I was lying. And that the stories I’m telling are not the truth.
As I said before, watch out for the Nancy in your life. She may be in your family. She could be at work. Maybe she even calls herself your friend. I’m telling you, guard your mind.
Don’t share your ideals, your dreams, your ambitions, your plans, your deep desires with them. They will destroy them. They are the negative people who are there to discourage you.
I know business is tough right now. Maybe you own a small business. If you have some of those people around they can’t wait to see you close your doors and for you to fail. They will be the first to laugh and say I told him so or I told her so.
Now every time I am signing off on one of my newsletters I always say press on. I do mean it.
My friend, don’t ever give up. Press on! The boys will give up but the men will stay and hang in there. The girls will give up but the women will stay and hang in there.
Hey, after all, if so many people are giving up maybe that will give you more room to succeed. Did you ever think about it this way?
Take care, have a great day, and by all means press on!
I look forward to reading your comments here.
Dearest hero of our planet,
I have had so many Nancies in my life ;I cannot count them .Even at birth they wanted me to exit early.Yeah ! I have a tough skin and never let them destroy my dreams ;they cannot come too close because I can smell them a mile away.Ha! Ha!
I am sure that I will have a few encounters this week ;I have met them by the highways and byways.They are like spiders ; they spin webs around unsuspecting and innocent preys.
I am glad that you didn’t react ;I have learned to keep my cool around such poisonous spiders but this one is lucky that she didnt do it in my presence.
These demi-demons reek of jealousy and they eventually are sad and lonely folks who have very low self esteem anyway.I pity such people but the buck stop here; I don’t tolerate them.
Recently I met such a person ;he came all the way from Florida to visit my team just to wag his venomous tongue and tried for an hour to put us down in front of a few people who came to hear us and learn how to improve their lives as entrepreneurs.
Yesterday I had another one at my yahoo site ;he tried to mar my business page and called me a Nigerian con artist.I had a large group of folks who were e-mailing me and chatting with me and he could not handle my success.
I would not let him rain on my parade.I told him to stop harassing me and he was gone because I remembered that my best friend was a FBI agent and I told my foe to beware of my friend who could find something not too Kosher about him and his reputation.The dude ran and I never saw him again. LOL
You see I am as old as Methuselah ; just a female version of this ancestor.I never let the Nancy Pansies of this world near me for long; I strike back with a passion.I can imagine this person near my mom or child and I see red.
You are a cool person and I admire your reaction and composure ;this fiend would have met my wrath instantly.
I would have shown her the exit door instantly. Wow ! I don’t have your wisdom when it comes to things like that. You’re the master of diplomacy. God forgive me; you’re a saint but not I….
Blessings,
Lylia Petion Stevenson
René,
I have some of those Nancy every day in my life and like you said, “stay away”
I found people that think I just don’t want to be part of it, but it is just that I look at then as my “Nancy”. It is just like telling a person who was born millionaire that you are hungry. They have never experience the feeling and can not know exactly how you feel.
The wise one will try to show sympathy anyway to make you feel good, but it will never be exactly that they want to know. Those Nancy always want to show off and want to be noticed. Maybe she just want to be somewhere every can know about her, and her dream comes true.
Press on, anyway
Nerlie
Hi Nerlie,
Thanks for your comment. Your point is right on target.
Rene,
Thanks for sharing your story! It had to be a rewarding experience for Brian Tracy to share the stage with you! It was good for him to know as well how much you admired him.
God is good! Keep telling your story and touching lives all around the globe.
Your mother must be so proud of you, and I am glad that she shared the experience with you. Never forget those beginnings; it will always keep you humble and with a servant spirit.
Hi Dr. Dovie,
Indeed, my mother is very proud of me. She just loves bragging about her son. I believe that I have given her a great gift the fact that I went on to be somebody.
But of course, she has given me a much bigger gift–the gift of life. Although things were tough for mama, she took care of three kids by herself.
Every child should strive to achieve greatness. It’s a feeling that gives every parent a lift. It’s even more powerful when the child gives his or her parents credit.
Rene,
You did the right thing by sharing your book with Nancy…. however there is no guarantee she will read it… perhaps you could ask her to go to Haiti with you on a research project and ask her to interview the people she needs to meet.
People who will touch her in a way that will change her heart…. you cannot avoid her…. she made herself known to you for a reason only God knows…
She it there for you to touch her life and change her…. she came to you… not someone else… when she is touched personally, she will become your advocate…. your shining star… she is put in your life because she needs you… and you need her.
The easy ones to convince are not your goal…. it is the Nancy’s of the world who are begging to be seen and heard… change her negative energy into energy that can help your cause… let God work through you to reach her….
Cauleen
I don’t recall having ever spoken to Nancy. Maybe she meant to call and never did.
Keep up the good work
Ed
Hi Ed,
Now this is really amazing! The question is, why did Nancy even mention that she called you Ed?
This is a good indication that she was doing everything she could to get my attention. I am wondering about this.
Maybe Nancy wanted to get my attention and she didn’t know a more civilized way to go about it.
That explains why suddenly she wanted to take a photo with me and get my phone number.
Many thanks Ed. I know you are a true professional and you would definitely handle Nancy appropriately. There’s a reason why you are so successful as a radio talk show host.
Come to think of it, you probably have encountered a situation like this before… if not many. You know how when you are at the top and others are always taking at stab at you.
Sounds familiar?
I appreciate your friendship my friend.
Rene,
Hi again. Bless you my hero.
Rene, regarding Nancy. Isn’t Nancy a gift? She forces you to look deep within yourself and see the Nancy within yourself. Your terminology ”audacity” smacks of ego. Ego meaning you are separate from Nancy. I am surrounded by Nancy’s all the time we all are. They are precious people who need your love and acceptance. because they are you. They are the remnants of yourself that have not been purified yet. Nancys bring them to the surface to be dissolved and turned into light.
You see, Rene I am married to Nancy. Nancy has been the biggest ‘button pusher’of my existence, (now almost 60 years old) I do not like Nancy but its not about like or dislike its about purification and growth.
NANCY HELPS ME LOOK DEEP WITHIN and see the little bits of me that need loving. I believe that when you can entertain Nancy, allow the stuff to go straight through you like mist and then offer love to Nancy (the little vulnerable you that needs love) you immediately disarm Nancy and you purify that ego (separate self) and merge them into one with all that is.
Much love sir
Thank you for writing about this, Rene! There are many of us with a Nancy in our lives and we give them too much power! I just had one of those come around today and stumbled on this in the night… thanks for reminding me to give myself permission to walk away with grace too! You are so right that we’ll have a bit mroe room to grow… faster!
And, you should be proud of you! Good job! Give your Mother applause from me as well… she did a fabulous and amazing job!
Hello Rene,
Thank you for the “Nancy” comments. Yes, there are a lot of Nancys in the workplace, at home, and yes, in the church.
When you are doing something great, it attracts “opposition” and it comes from these Nancys. She aimed and fired a dart at you but thankfully your character and faith were strong enough to withstand this fiery dart.
You quenched by returning her meanness with a kindness and you kept stepping. I have found that I must simply put distance between myself and the people who mean me harm because due to their level of insecurity, they only speak those things which are designed to discourage or discredit me rather than edify me.
I must continue to love them but they may not be a part of my inner circle. Thanks for taking us along on your journey. Be strong in God.
Dear Rene,
Thanks for sharing the Nancy incident with us. We all have to be careful of the Nancys in our lives.
Keep up the good work Rene. Your life has inspired me a lot. It only reiterates the fact that we can move mountains if we have the will and all of us are endowed with that quality, though we may not be blessed with wealth and luxuries equally. Your life story is a testimony to that.
Kind regards,
Rammohan M. Rai
Doha, Qatar