How
to Find Top Mentoring Teachers That Will Gladly
Help You Jumpstart Your Career and
Multiply Your Income
Twenty years ago, after struggling
for survival in a tiny Haitian village, I arrived in America.
I had only five dollars, two shirts, one pair of pants, and I
didn’t speak any English. My success in this great land
would be unthinkable to many. I am often asked to share my secrets.
Well, there are no secrets to my
achievements. I simply seek out people with the right answers
to be my mentoring teachers. Some mentored me through books, and
others in person. Your accomplishments in life are directly related
to the kind of sustaining mentor/mentee relationships you have
created.
School is a good thing. But years
of schooling cannot teach us the good old and highly-effective
method of getting to the heart of success. Think about it this
way, we go to school and gobble truckloads of information in order
to finish school quickly.
We, then, enter the world of work
only to realize that experience is the real teacher of all teachers.
And nowadays, all of the job postings are asking for experience.
We find ourselves frustrated and fumbling in the dark alleys of
personal and professional success. We wonder why we can’t
make big money in our business or career.
The key to getting what you want
is very simple. All you have to do is to find someone who has
been there to show you the way. If success leaves clues as we
know it, then those who went before us should remember the ones
that they encountered themselves.
Success, in whatever line of work,
is like walking in a field of landmines. It’s necessary
to have a minesweeper or a mentoring teacher—someone who
has been there and knows where to step. You know the landmines
I am referring to. They are the mistakes and bad decisions that
often blow up our faces.
In addition to providing ideas and
guidance, your mentoring teacher will hold you accountable for
your success. That alone is priceless. Like the great Jewish King
Solomon said, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens
the countenance of his friend.”
Here’s
how to choose and work with mentoring teachers
1) Make a list of prospective
mentoring teachers
The very first thing you should do is to make a list of the people
you would like to be your mentor/mentors. Don’t be afraid
to put names on your list. You have nothing to lose except for
the courage to accept the word no with grace. Go for it!
2) Ask
Right now, there are people whom you would never think of asking
to mentor you because you are afraid they might say no. But you
will be surprised to find out how people are eager to share their
recipe for success if they are asked. Some of them are even flattered.
I must admit, I have a real problem asking for help. My ego often
gets in the way. Part of it is because of my upbringing. Asking
people for things was almost a sin when I was a kid. I am getting
much better now at asking for advice. When we ask, we have nothing
to lose and everything to gain.
Please, ask courteously and politely.
Don’t feel like anyone is obligated to help you. No one
really has an abundance of spare time available to share with
you. Mentoring others requires sacrifice. It’s a decision
to deprive one’s self of other activities in order to be
with you. And that’s precious.
3) Choose someone who is
living your dream.
When you are thirsty, you should never go a dry well. Would you
go to an auto mechanic for consultation about your kidney? I doubt
it. Why then do some of us go to people who are not living our
dream for advice?
A mentoring teacher shouldn’t
be just another pretty face. You need people with transferable
experiences and knowledge you can use. The goal is not to seek
advice from a teacher but rather from a doer.
4) Make sure your mentoring
teacher genuinely cares
about your success.
Nothing is more devastating than taking advice from someone who
has a hidden agenda. There are people who are very comfortable
giving you advice as long as you are one level below them.
As soon as you move up one rung of
the ladder ahead of them, they get jealous. They may not say or
admit this, but you will feel it. So, make sure you know the person
cares about you.
5 Ways to
Capitalize on Your Mentor/mentee relationship
1) Be considerate of the person’s time.
Everyone is busy. We are always juggling many balls at once. To
a productive and successful person, every hour is precious. Show
up on time, and be prepared. Be utterly grateful that your mentoring
teacher has agreed to spend time with you no matter how short.
2) Ask specific questions.
Don’t go to your mentoring teacher and say, “I need
help.” He or she is not psychic. You must articulate exactly
what areas in your life or business require help. Before you meet
with your mentoring teacher, write down your questions.
Remember to ask open-ended questions
like “How would you handle this situation if you were me?”
instead of “did I handle this situation right?” You
may also want to refrain from asking why questions as they appear
to be interrogative or intimidating. Asking exploratory questions
not only cause the speaker to open up and tell you more, it makes
him or her feel smarter.
3) Listen, listen, listen.
It’s amazing how someone asks for advice but then ends up
doing all the talking. If we knew what to do in the first place,
we wouldn’t have had to ask. When I ask a question, I zip
it up and listen to the answer.
We can only learn when we are listening
and observing, not when we are talking. People usually love to
talk about their accomplishments. Why not let them tell you how
they did it? The very best way to learn from other people’s
experiences is to fire up the question, listen, and take copious
notes. We are never too smart not to take notes.
4) Follow through.
If you want to frustrate your mentoring teacher, take his or her
advice and do nothing with it. Have you gotten advice that you
never acted upon? Or better yet, have you ever taken the time
to give someone advice only to find out they did nothing with
your advice?
Let me tell you a little secret.
The very best feeling in the world is when others come back and
show you proof that your advice made their lives better.
Your mentor’s gift to you is
his or her advice. When you apply the gift, you actually give
him/her an even bigger gift back. No matter what line of work
you are in, if you make a solid commitment to follow through,
your future is virtually unlimited. Wealth is in the following
through.
5) Be grateful—send
a little gift or note.
A person can say ‘thank you’ in more than a million
ways. An attitude of gratitude is imperative. Occasionally, surprise
your mentor with a small gift—a token of appreciation or
a nice heartwarming note.
Remember this: Your mentor/mentee
relationship is like any other relationship. You must learn how
to earn and keep the good will of the other person.
I hope you seriously consider exploring
a relationship with people who might be willing to mentor you.
If your company provides a mentoring program, take advantage of
it. If not, take the initiative to find your own mentoring teachers.
My mentors have cut my learning curve significantly, and I know
yours will do the same for you, too.
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